About

Hello and welcome to my blog of a mum missing. Firstly let me say a huge thank you for taking the time to be here with me. I don’t know what has lead you to my blog but you will find love, honesty and above all understanding of what you’re going through. You’re not alone here.

Whether it’s grief, motherhood or mental health this blog is here to provide a space where experiences can be shared and not just mine. I love to hear from my readers so please say hello to me on Facebook and Instagram or if you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear about your experiences too.

This is me and my mum at my graduation

On the 17th August 2018 my beautiful mum died suddenly when I was 24 weeks pregnant with my first child. I decided to write about my experience of losing a mum and becoming a mum for two reasons:

  1. To connect with others who may have, may be or may in the future find themselves where I am.
  2. To show those people they are not alone.

I searched the internet for accounts that I could to relate to of others who had lost their mums like I did and had had a similar pregnancy journey as I had, however I struggled to find anything I could relate to. This made me feel even lonelier.

So I thought be that someone, be that someone who shares their stories in the hope that someone who needs them sees them and knows they are not alone.


Who am I?

This is me

I am a 30 something mum of one living in Lancashire, England. I live with my husband, daughter and dog and we love nothing more than country walks and country pubs. When I am able to find a slice of time just for me I read- and drink gin.

I’ve always loved writing, my mum used to say that I’ve had a pen in my hand since I was 2 years old, so it seems inevitable that I would find myself here at some point. Her death got me thinking about life and that you’ve got to do what you love for those you love. So I started this blog. I’ve always journaled as a way of helping me manage my thoughts and feelings and after my mum, I found writing to be the therapy I needed.

I write for me, I write for you and I write for those we love and those we have lost.

You don’t have to miss a single post, click the subscribe button and you’ll receive email notifications of my new blog posts, one less thing to think about.

Disclaimer

The views expressed in this blog are solely mine and are based on my experiences and personal opinion. I am in no way a medical expert and any suggestions or personal advice I include should not be substituted for any medical advice or information. The material contained within this blog belongs to me and cannot be published or reprinted anywhere else without my consent. If I ever quote or paraphrase someone else’s work then it shall be referenced accordingly within the content of these pages. I am not responsible for the actions of the advertisers or sponsors which are displayed and any disputes should be rectified with them directly. This disclaimer is subject to change at any time without prior notification.

8 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hi I just wanted to say a huge thank you. I could not have put this in a better way and I unfortunately was in a fairly similar situation. I swore I would never have children as I lost my mum when I was 12 as suddenly as you did (cardiac arrest also) and didn’t want to put a child through that ever. I then lost my dad equally as suddenly (pulmonary embolism) in 2016 and I fell apart. I’ve since had my little girl (this year) and my goodness she has changed my life.
    I can relate to every thing you have said and I cannot thank you enough for being so open about your experience and saying what I have been struggling to explain.
    I am so sorry for your loss in all of this especially as it was so close to you having your little girl.

    Lots of love

    Keeley x

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    1. Thank you so much for your message!! Sharing your story with me has made me feel less alone today 😘

      Congratulations on the birth of your little girl, I honestly believe these tiny little humans were sent to us to save us and make us see that life can be filled with love again!

      Again thank you so much for messaging it truly means a lot to me.

      All the best and happy holiday! Big big loves and if you EVER need someone to talk, someone who knows, even as a new mum, message me anytime. Xxx

      Like

  2. Hiya,

    Thank you for sharing your posts. My mum passed away in 2019 when my little girl was 5 weeks old. I am incredibly grateful that mum got to meet her but it’s tough to know they won’t get to have that amazing relationship I had Imagined for them or that I can’t just call my mum up with those questions only your mum can answer. I still miss her terribly and the tears still flow and one of my challenges has been trying to hold it all in. As you say, grief is like the weather and now I am starting to have more good days than bad. My little girl has been my life saver and I know that the greatest compliment I can pay my mum is to be the best mum I can be and that doesn’t mean trying to be perfect all the time. I wish you all the best and thank you again for sharing your thoughts and feelings on something so difficult.

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    1. Hello!
      Thank you so much for firstly taking the time to share your story with me, honestly it really helps to know I’m not alone.
      I am glad to hear you’re having more good days than bad and your mum would be so proud of you for sure.
      If you are ever having a bad day and want to talk to someone who knows I am always here to listen.
      Big loves mama you’re doing amazing and us motherless mums are carrying on their legacy ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      Like

  3. I was very moved reading your blog. I’m so sorry that your mum isn’t with you to meet your daughter, and that you have to spend your life without her.

    When I was around 30odd weeks with my youngest, my mum had a sudden bowel eruption on holiday. When the surgeon went in to fix her, he found multiple malignant tumours, which must have been growing for a couple of years without her noticing (or noticing but not letting on). The surgeon patched her up, and she came home to say goodbye to us all. She spent three months sat in the garden, enjoying the last of the summer sunshine before she slipped away in October. My mum was going to be my birthing partner, but she was far too ill. I went to her house for most of my labour so I could be with her as much as I could be. The second my daughter was born, the phone was put to my ear and she was crying and telling me how amazing I was. She held my daughter on the day we returned from hospital. I had to hold her over my mums arms because she was so weak. My mum was my bestest friend in the entire world, we’d have daily chats when she got home from work, she’d invite me over a couple times a week, for tea and for a good gossip. My daughter will be four this year. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about mum. I think to myself “four years, where did the time go mum?” My daughter’s birthday is the strangest day, it’s one filled with happiness and joy. But it’s also another reminder of what’s gone.

    I’ve shared this with you because it helps me, and I hope it helps you to know you’re not alone. I pray your grief eases over time, and I’m you’ll make many happy memories with your precious daughter 💕

    Xxx

    Like

    1. Oh susie , thank you so much for sharing this and my goodness your relationship with your mum could double as mine and my mums! She was, is, my best friend and the love of my life, as with you I lost more than a mother that day.

      Life is just bittersweet and always will be, as with your daughter and with mine. I truly believe my daughter has been my saviour and I soak up every inch of her everyday for I now know time and life is so short and so precious.

      Reading your story and others really does help to make the day a little easier knowing that I’m not alone, and neither are you!! If ever the moment of grief hits you and you need to share the load I’m always here to listen.

      Big loves ❤️

      Like

  4. I am so glad I found your blog. Like you, I was desperately searching Instagram and Facebook groups for anyone in my situation. My mum died in a car accident in November 2019 when my son was 5 months old. I’m so grateful that she got to meet him and that I will always have these memories. I feel devastated not only for me, but also for him and for her. That he got deprived of having a grandma and that she had to go so early. She was so excited about her first grandchild and I can’t grasp the unfairness of it all.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story xx

    Like

    1. Sophie it is so unfair and that was the overwhelming emotion that kept me ruminating on her death for so long…. why her, why now, why me?!!! But I’ve accepted that I’ll never know and so I no longer search, quiet acceptance of what has happened has allowed me ,and I imagine very many others, to return to the living in a way.

      I am so very sorry for your loss and please if at any time the weight of your loss is too much, I’ll always be here to listen.

      Big loves ❤️

      Like

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